1] The only chance to walk up to a group of gorgeous girls who don’t know you from Adam- or Eve- and ask them if they’d like to see your “big Six Up.”
Just be careful that they don’t laugh out loud, point and reply, “Only SIX?”
2] Being able to walk up to a racing purist and ask in all innocence, “If you like racing so much, does this make you a racist?”
3] Before every race, go to Bill Nader, Director of Racing for the HKJC, and ask him to help you fill out your betting slips…and then ask him why it’s called a Triple Trio and not a Big Mac or Double Cheeseburger
4] Flash Jenny From The Paddock while she is doing her ‘live’ Paddock Parade and horrify the poor thing.
5] Find out where race caller Darren Flindell sits. Ambush him, take away his microphone and announce that it’s “FREE Champagne, FREE dim sum and FREE cooking oil for every one!” Then sit back and watch what happens.
6] Get into one of those weird racing mascot suits which are meant to look like horses but look like cows and terrorize all the “tai tais”- the super-rich female race-goers.
7] Buy out all 14 Ukraine “dancers” from Club BBoss in Tsim Sha Tsui East and take them to where the Members Private Boxes are. Make all your new friends from the Eastern Bloc where clothes and shoes which would make Lady Gaga look like a wallflower.
8] If they’re playing, go up to the Police Marching Band and request that they play the entire Sergeant Pepper’s album or The Best Of Pink Floyd.
9] Rub yourself against the best looking girl you can find and tell her it’s only for luck.
Just be a bit careful there’s no huge brute next to her.
10] Jump in and pose with the connections of a winning horse who and see if they’ll even notice you. Try doing it for every winning photo.
Comments