What can one learn from the fiasco surrounding the now-four concerts in Hong Kong by Lady Gaga? That the bigger they are, the greater they fuck up and how Live Nation, the world’s biggest concert promoter, totally screwed up on these concert dates- going from one concert only, to then two, to then three and to now, four. Tedious, innit?
Those who camped overnight to buy ticket when I was “One Concert Only” and who also over-paid and bought tickets from scalpers must be feeling like right knobs. Was this a huge exercise in incompetence from the concert’s promoters Live Nation, or was it all just a huge con? Who knows and, by now, who cares? Many are left to lick their wounds and are turned off even hearing the name Lady Gaga and probably blaming the Grande Olde Dame for this mess. Nah, the blame lies at the doorstep of Live Nation. Whoever is running the ship screwed up like that idiot in charge of the wreck of the Concordia.
Frankly, the Live Nations operations in Asia have always been shaky ever since our friend and the very experienced promoter Colleen Ironside left what was The Titanic waiting to hit an iceberg. As music companies learned over and over again, one cannot bring in newbie expats to the region and hope they can understand this very complicated part of the world- a part of the world which has, suddenly, found its Voice and with many no longer ready to jump when a “bwana” says “Jump” and return to being “running dogs.”
It might be the power of China, it might be the overall economic clout of Asia compared with many other Western economies that are crumbling, or it might have to be with just being fed up of being screwed over time and time again, but the days of opening our arms and legs and letting knobs and dullards in to these shores to con “the locals” are over. This is not an “anti-expat” or “anti gweilo” or “anti-ferang” rant: Asia is home to a great many expats and we are extremely protective over it. Many of us have learned the hard way not to trust many. False “friends” and only hearing from those when they need “favours” have hardened many of us. Even made us a tad cynical.
Hearing from some once-famous, or once-relevant person in show business, especially, does squat for many who have been used and milked dry by trusting those who come bearing, not gifts, but empty promises and empty words. Those days are over… It’s now down to, “You want my ideas and thoughts and connections,” well, baby, “Show Me the Money.” Talk is cheap, action is expensive though, often, even handing over the “action” can result in squat.
Whoever is running Live Nation in the region- and I think the “Top Gun” is based in Australia- and from where no one can run anything except a Gay Mardi Gras parade. Yes, I have no idea what that has anything to do with the price of John Dory either. Online ticketing problems, poorly-managed ways of managing their brand and this Lady Gaga Tour is more than a fiasco: It’s an insult to the intelligence of people.
One good thing many can take outta this is the usual Asian “practice” of being groupies and fawning over “big International names” must end. As an Asian, it makes me quite ill to see so many still with their heads buried up the asses of many conning them with talk- especially at those tedious music conferences- about this idea and that idea and saying, “Want more carrots?” What? Nile Rogers is going to produce Tata Young from Thailand? Please, did you eat a bowl of Gullible Nuts this morning?
How many of these useless conversations have we had and how often have we gone out of our way to help someone because they are “famous”? Fame is fleeting. Ask Nora Desmond who’s probably still asking “Mr. DeMille for her close-up”.
These days, I don’t really give a rat’s arse about helping out people who crawl out o the woodwork and say, “Remember me? We need to hook up. I’ll be in your part of the world soon.” Yeah? And so what? Find someone else to show you the best place for a curry or the best place to get laid. This Asian has grown up and has no time to “hook up” with many for useless lunches, drinks and dinners and end up with the bill. Enough already of listening to gossip, to rumours and the pettiness of life.
Some days, I almost feel like going to some forest in the jungles of Kandy in Sri Lanka and being an Asian Robbing Hood and stealing from the rich and keeping it all for myself as I even have little time for even many of my Asian “brethren”. They need to grow some big balls, learn to say “No”, and put an end to all the fawning “over the famous people.”
As for whoever at Live Nation is to blame for their Noddy Goes To Toy Town ways of handling this Lady Gaga fiasco, they should be tarred and feathered and run outta town. Hats off to those who have reported the matter to Hong Kong’s Independent Commission Against Corruption. Whoever is to blame for this mess, should come up- or be shown the door- and be counted and show us that they have some modicum of balls. Then again, the person is probably shriveled up and hiding somewhere in Mudgee.
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