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The new way of looking at horse racing

RICHARD GIBSON AND HIS POLLY WANTS A CRACKER

It’s not been that great a week for racing news- injuries to Ambitious Dragon and the great Frankie- but, at least trainer Richard Gibson has given us something to squawk about: His pet parrot- or, to be more precise, having his racing pundit friend Karen Ling teach his parrot to speak Cantonese.


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Of course, this could simply be Gibbo wishing to connect with the people of Hong Kong and embrace being a Hong Kong Belonger, which will also mean having to belch and fart in public, pick his teeth during lunches and end each sentence with the word, “Diiiiuuuu.”

But we think there are other reasons.


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* Richard Gibson is secretly auditioning for a role in a new remake of Dr Doolittle as audiences have tired of Eddie Murphy plus, The Black Coalition has found it derogatory that only a black man can speak to animals.

With his slight French accent and screen name of Dick Gibbo, everything points to him hitting Hollywood during the off season like a murder of crows.


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* The parrot is being given Cantonese lessons so it can beg Chinese owners on his behalf for new horses in a language they understand. There will be a “Diiiiuuuu” after every sentence squawked.


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* Having his parrot perched on his shoulder while he struts around the racecourses is a new fashion statement and a great way to cherchez la femme.

Imagine: “Richard, Is that a parrot on your shoulder or are you just flapping your wings cos you’re happy to see me?”


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* As a child, Gibbo always wanted to be a pirate. However, his parents never bought him a parrot to complete the ‘look’. The dream is now complete.


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* It’s one way to swear at stupid Chinese horse owners in a foul -and fowl- language and blame everything on the bird.


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* A huge fan of film maker Alfred Hitchcock and his movie “The Birds”, Gibbo is planning a cinematic homage to Hitch titled ” The Parrots.”

This parrot is the first of many for his flocking collection with the plot to his movie being wild parrots squawking and swearing in Cantonese swooping down and crapping on all those at one of those incredibly boring winning presentation ceremonies not won by one of his horses.

Dick Gibbo saves the day by running out and stretching out his hands in a Christ-like manner to soothe their ruffled feathers while chanting “Birdie Num Num”.


He is given a cap and keychain for his help by Bill Nader, Director of Racing.


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* If John Moore can wear a safari suit and look like Jungle Jim/John, Dick Gibbo can have a parrot on his shoulder and not break any HKJC dress codes.


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Finally, we dedicate this wonderful tribute to the famous Norwegian Blue Parrot by Monty Python to Gibbo.


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