Giddyup, racing clubs! There you all are going on and on and on about “bringing in a younger market” to the races and so what do you do? Sure, you bring in a few musical acts to perform ‘live’ during the big race days. But know what? Most of these efforts backfire ‘cos deciding who these acts should be are marketers who wouldn’t know Rihanna from a boner and which is why there is no A&R strategy other than random acts recommended by some boffins in Legal and Finance. What horses for courses?
Despite chanting the New Generation mantra, there’s always the danger of showing one’s age or being conned by guys who say they know everyone and ends up wheeling in Christopher Cross or similar dead acts that the new generation of racegoers either know jackshit about or else think are part of Dad’s Dead Army and Sailing into the desert on a Horse With No Name. On the subject of how I see dead musical acts appearing with great regularity, when are the Beach Boys gonna rename themselves the Beach Grandpapas?
Then there are the acts wheeled in or stumbled upon or been sold by a savvy musical label promo person into appearing AFTER a race meeting like Adam Lambert did on Caulfield Guineas Day- and which, I know to have been a deal negotiated by someone who was way over his head working out how a gig like this happens and with no idea of Rights or a how to read what’s on an artist’s Rider- a rider being the artists’s Must Haves.
How does a gig like this even help turnover? How is this a marriage of racing and entertainment? It’s just a separate gig at a racetrack. Sure, the Glambert is a great performer, but what Caulfield got was a very stripped down show and a shaky sound system for maximum price.
Though the HKJC has booked some totally incorrect musical acts for the very International audience at its Beer Garden venue like that wretched local accapella group that was more Acapulco than anything else, there IS a military-like precision as to when the acts play and finish so as not to spook the horses and piss off the trainers and jockeys and Old School racing purists whose idea of music probably starts and ends with the covers band at Spicy Fingers or Insomnia.
Some of the acts might not work, but providing ‘live’ music does- and in far better managed manner than that recent farce in Melbourne when a band was banging away while the horses for the main race were being loaded into their barriers and were being spooked in the process by some bloke wailing in a rage of self-indulgence.
So, for all those who REALLY wanna knows who’s hip and happening and how to take advantage of promo visits by artists, mainly new artists, this is the place and Tallulah La La is your girl. Always remember that like little girls who grow bigger every day- was Maurice Chevalier a paedo?- new artists grow up to be popular- and very big- very quickly. Remember an unknown Korean guy named Psy? He wanted to tour only a year ago with some piece of Gangnam crap but as there were only a handful of takers, the tour was cancelled.
These promo tours depend on music companies getting free venues and an open bar for movers, shakers and the usual set list of wankers. Hello? Anyone there at racing clubs who cannot see how this can be a win-win situation for everyone?
But if people keep saying things like, “I asked the secretaries who are young and they have never heard of this act, so how about Bon Jovi?” well, chitlins, that’s not gonna get you anywhere and the music company and management will never bother with you again. It’s My Life was “anthemic” 15 years ago and Poodle hair was happening 30 years ago.
Good gried! Did real men actually dress like these Poodles?
So, I come to Rita Ora, a relatively new artist, picked for a US blitz by Jay-Z and with a huge buzz going around as the new Rihanna. I love this girl as do many who know their divas from their fashionistas and their divans from their settees’ and set ways. Rita, you go, girl with no ifs, nor Oras about it. Just try and break up with Rob Kardashian as I’d hate to see you on that whiney show about Keeping Up And Down With The Kardashians.
Jeez, those three girls have severe nasal problems. Too much coke? The effects of having been with too many very big basketball players named Lamar and Tyrone? Who knows and who fucking cares, Leon?
Hit it, Pharrell, you handsome devil, for all those girls standing in the line for the bathroom and inspired, say many, by the goings on at dragon-i in Hong Kong.
And now for different kinda aura: Rita Ora.
Until the next time, Tra La from Tallulah La La Land.
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