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THE DING DONGS OF HONG KONG’S WANG DANG DOODLES (EPISODE 3)‏


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STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSE’S DING DONGS

One of the highlights of Wednesday night’s races- an absolutely freezing night out that had us suffer various brain freeze moments when suddenly speechless trying to cherchez la femme in the Beer Garden- and an early favorite for the Ding Dong award for The Dueling Banjos Award was in the opening race where Zac Purton and Douglas Whyte had their own race to see who could put the other through the fence first.


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It ended with The Zac Attack copping a two day suspension- his first in something like over 280 races- and then running like a girlie man to the nearest beach to stretch out and think about launching another military attack.


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This Dueling Banjos highlight was closely followed by another double by JoJo Moreira who came close to riding a treble on Tour De Force- and also- ding dong- perilously close to facing another suspension for the ride. But, what a truly nice guy he is, and hats off to the Three Amigos for having him as a guest on Racing To Win.


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The Ding Dong for Worst Acting By An Ensemble In A Boat Race went to some woeful rides in race five of the evening.


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Jeez, the weak-kneed riding dreckola performances in that race made Adam Sandler’s acting look like that of Sir Lawrence Olivier’s and Lindsay Lohan’s star u-turns look like that of Meryl Streep.


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Leading nominations for the Iron Man Ding Dong Award must go to trainer David Ferraris and his 10-year-old galloper Jamesina which spanked its younger rivals on Wednesday.


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What a horse, what a great training performance by the Darth Vader of Hong Kong racing to keep the old codger still feeling frisky without any Cialis, and what a damn fine ride by Mirco Demuro who is quickly shaking off the thought of anyone singing the New Kid In Town but, instead, moving to Life In The Fast Lane.


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Meanwhile, the Ding Dong for the coveted WTF Award must surely already be in the bag for race caller Brett “Lucky” Davis for explaining how to pronounce the name of first starter Peniaphobia- the fear of poverty- and then answering how to spell it with the classic line,”P as in P”, which had many TV viewers suffering from whiplash thinking they had just heard, “P as in Pee.”


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During one of his calls that same night, “Lucky”- and we are huge fans as he happily does his own thing and is no dummy when it comes to tipping a winner- also proved that honesty is the best policy by blurting out, “Now, where is the favorite? Oh, there it is!”

Cracking Ding Dong stuff though not in the same league as this beauty from Oz yesterday: “A lot of sprinters win these sprinters type races.”


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“Lucky” is a budding flower on an otherwise arid broadcasting land and The Lone Ranger of local racing looking for his Tonto.


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BECKS AND HIS DING DONGS


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLgW6Jbk9GE


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LONGINES AND THE DING DONG MENTALIST


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So, there we were watching The Mentalist the other day purely as we’re fans of Actor Simon Baker who plays the role of the Mental Patrick Jane.

In real life, Baker is one of Longines brand ambassadors- the brand being the biggest global sponsor of horse racing- and in an ironic turn- or was it?- the episode we watched titled Red Ponies, and based on a novella by John Steinbeck, was all about horse racing- a stable going broke, the murder of an ex-jockey, a female jockey being duped into keeping quiet about a trainer’s scam, horses being switched etc- and a mystery which Patrick Jane solved in a very Horse Whisperer-type of manner.


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All of this made us think just how many ways Longines can be using Simon Baker in his role as The Mentalist to strengthen its association with racing other than a few ads, posters, personal appearances and some races named after them.


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But with their army of marketing geniuses around the world, who are we mere ding dongs to tell them how to use these celebrity brand ambassadors- Kate Winslet is another- to connect with race-goers and also how the gorgeous Ms Francesca Cumani- soon to be Mrs Rob Archibald and we pray she doesn’t change her surname- who is all about horses and equestrian sports, and hosts CNN’s Winning Post, is perfect to be the Longines’ Racing ambassador?


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Celebrities who turn up for even the opening of an envelope if paid enough, do nothing for us- or any race-goer- in the running of- ding dong- the Credibility Stakes.


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TODAY’S SELECTIONS FROM THE THIRD DIVIDEND


File0021

SHA TIN (HKG) Sun, 19/1/14 Day Races @HKJC_Racing Turf (“A+3” Course) Weather: Mainly fine and dry. Cold in the morning with a minimum temperature of around 12 degreesin the urban areas, and two to three degrees lower in the New Territories. The maximum temperaturewill be about 17 degrees during the day. Moderate to fresh east to northeasterly winds, occasionally strong offshore at first. Source: http://www.hko.gov.hk/contente.htm

Race 1: Electronic Unicorn Hcp CL5 1 – Spectatular Award (12) 2 – Young Warrior (3) 3 – Flying Supreme (8) 4 – Bernard’s Choice (1)

Race 2: Russian Pearl Hcp CL4 1 – Super Abundante (4) 2 – Regency Ho Ho (8) 3 – Seasons Star (1) 4 – Solar Spirit (9)

Race 3: Bullish Luck Hcp CL4 1 – Demon Demon (3) 2 – Fay Deep (11) 3 – Sparkling Sword (14) 4 – Mellifluent (8)

Race 4: Fellowship Hcp CL3 1 – Access Years (3) 2 – Smart Forward (8) 3 – Domineer (10) 4 – Danewin Tiger (6)

Race 5: Super Kid Hcp CL4 1 – Fantasitic Kaka (3) 2 – Jack’s Gem (7) 3 – Classy Victor (6) 4 – Thanksgiving (5)

Race 6: Armada Hcp CL3 1 – Principal (6) 2 – Wayfoong Express (4) 3 – Flame Hero (10) 4 – Keen Tactics (9)

Race 7 (Q1): The Hong Kong Classic Mile – Hong Kong Group One 1 – Able Friend (3) 2 – Flagship Shine (1) 3 – Designs On Rome (2) 4 – All You Wish (4)

Race 8 (Q2): The Stewards Cup – Hong Kong Group One 1 – Glorious Days (2) 2 – Gold-Fun (4) 3 – Military Attack (1) 4 – Blazing Speed (9)

Race 9 (Q3): Godo ba Ba Hcp CL3 1 – Ho In One (5) 2 – Kabayan (6) 3 – Fabulous November (8) 4 – Gallant Triumph (11)

Race 10 (Q4): Beauty Flash Hcp CL2 1 – Tableaux (6) 2 – Bubble Chic (5) 3 – Travel Brand (12) 4 – Sea Dragon (1)

Best Bet Race 7: Able Friend (3)

Next Best Race 3: Demon Demon (3)

Value Bet Race 9: Ho In One (5) – currently, $6.50/$2.60

Long Shot Race 8: Blazing Speed (9) – currently, $13.00/$1.00

Quaddie ($100 gets you 39%) 1.2.3.4 1.2.4.9 5.6.8.11 1.5.6.12

Six Up 3.7 4.6 1.3 1.2.4 5.5 5.6

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SELECTIONS FROM THE BIG APPLE (@SW064351)


big apple 4

BEST BET Race 10, No. 6 Tableaux Was blocked for a run in the straight before finishing strongly. Trumped for this race and looks the one to beat.

SECOND BEST Race 6, No. 6 Principal Just beaten after racing wide throughout last time. Step-up should suit, take holding out.

LONGSHOT Race 8, No. 9 Blazing Speed Much improved run in the Hong Kong Cup. Better suited over this journey, each-way claims.

LAY Race 7, No. 1 Flagship Shine Unproven at the 1600m and won’t get race run to suit. No value from the wide draw.

QUADDIE 2,3,9 / 1,2,4,6,8,9 / 5,6,8 / 1,3,6,11. $100 for 46.30%.

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THE FAST TRACKER AND HIS DING DONG CUPS RUNNETH OVER

Apart from having one of the better race cards in recent months including the running of The Stewards Cup and the Hong Kong Classic Mile, I cowered when I first saw the runners for this afternoon and then went to a corner and slowly banged my head on the wall- hard.


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Yes, my hoodoo horse, the Sean Woods-trained Autumn Gold is running in the last- which has come to mean that, for me, it will be a Bad Day At Hanging Rock.


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Having waited for the galloper to arrive from Germany where it showed a great deal of potential and purchased with the Hong Kong Derby in mind, alas, Autumn Gold, today looks more like Fool’s Gold.


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It just doesn’t look like the same horse and an astute judge like Douglas Whyte who jumps horses like a champion hurdler, sticking with it despite some very ordinary runs was mind-boggling.


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Having seen the light like a Blues Brother and finally jumping off it, it now looks like Monsieur Mosse has become the poor thing’s regular pilot.

Pourquoi? Je ne sais, mes Ding Dong amis.


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Elsewhere, this afternoon, it really looks like being The John Moore Show where the trainer has his usual strong army deployed for this important day in the Hong Kong racing calendar and where it certainly won’t surprise if he goes home with 3-4 winners.


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From a betting point of view, note that there are million dollar jackpots in the Triple Trio, Six Up and the Third Double Trio whereas race 5 sees the return of the Quartet bet.


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R1 FLYING SUPREME/MAGICAL BEAM

One of those races like a movie trailer where we wait for the audience to arrive for the main attraction and where anything can win while just as many can boomwaaaaa worse that Vinnie’s Eagle did in the Inglis Classic at Randwick yesterday.

As for this Hong Kong race, hold your horses- and whatever else- forget the extremely disappointing Young Warrior which will start under the odds- and just sit tight for Race 4 onwards.


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R2 REGENCY HO HO/SEASONS STAR/SUPER ABUNDANTE/

From barrier 13, Dougie should take this one out and, possibly, the start of a good day at the office for the jockey.

R3 MELLIFLUENT

This first starter with The Zac Attack up has been working well and could win, but this is a pretty even race with others with solid chances including Demon Demon and Graceful Kingdom.

R4 SMART FORWARD/ACCESS YEARS

With Tommy Berry who, we’re very sure, John Moore would love to have his stable, is back on another of his flying visits to Hong Kong, could get off to a flier with this one with Magic Moreira being the horse to beat.


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Interestingly, Winnie’s Horse has moved to the stable of Francis Lui from that of Tony Cruz. Cruzy doesn’t lose many horses. If anything, he fires owners who become a pain in the arse.


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R5 FASTER MORE/FANTASTIC KAKA

The first race that re-introduces the Quartet bet- picking the first four horses in their correct order- and, as expected, this is no walk in the park as ALL the main chances are drawn out in the carpark.


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What’s also bothering me is how we make this bet through a telebet account? Waaaaiiii?


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R6 PRINCIPAL

After a slow start to his late return to this racing season, Brett Prebble has hit his straps and, like every jockey who rides for him, must want to stay in the good books of John Moore- and I give Principal a strong winning chance.


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Others with chances are Wayfoong Express and Flame Hero whereas Bankers Bonus must surely do something soon. It’s racing almost every week with a merry-go-round of jockeys trying to figure out this Wankers Bonus.


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R7 FLAGSHIP SHINE/ABLE FRIEND

The John Moore Army sends out four of his troops in this, the Hong Kong Classic Mile, to repel the enemy including Designs Of Rome which he has been talking down to the racing media- always dangerous, especially with the Berry Boy aboard who one would have thought would have ridden Able Friend which he has won on and knows inside out. Moreira rides it today.


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Why fly him out for four rides only for Moore? Surely, one or even two of these rides must have strong winning chances? But which one? Same World in the Stewards Cup?


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R8 MILITARY ATTACK/GLORIOUS DAYS/GOLD FUN/PACKING WHIZ

Of course, the favorites will be powerful owner Steven Lo’s Military Attack, Glorious Days facing a horror barrier, and Gold Fun, but for a minor upset, Packing Whiz might just be packing too many guns with trainer Caspar Fownes ready to break into his happy dance.


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Same World, which won at Happy Valley for Magic Moreira at its last start with Straw Berry aboard this time is the only other one that could upset the apple cart- but it’s very tough to see it beating the main chances.

R9 KABAYAN

Like Obama- and what a terrible disappointment he’s been- and his mantra about spreading the wealth- John Moore likes to spread his rides around and this could be a winner for Douglas Whyte who must be making loud sucking sounds to stay in the good books of the trainer.


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And who can blame him as this season, the champion jockey’s career and business strategy definitely appears to be winning as many Group 1 races as possible- which means getting on Group 1 horses, something Moore has a monopoly on in Hong Kong.


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R10 TABLEAUX

This Michael Chang-trained galloper caught the eye at its debut and should catch more than eyes in this race with Frenchman Ollie Doleuze aboard Tableaux- French for table.


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The only danger appears to be Sea Dragon- wow, Dougie Whyte actually riding for John Size- with Beauty Lead, Sunny Ying and Crackerjack as place chances while, just to spite me, Autumn Gold, might get up and bite me on the bum.


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BEST BET- R4- ACCESS YEARS- 3 NEXT BEST- R10- TABLEAUX- 6 LONGSHOT- R5- FORWARD MORE-10

SIX UP R5: 3-10 R6: 6 R7: 3 R8: 1-2-4-6 R9: 1-5-6-11 R10: 1-3-6

QUADDIE R7- 1-3 R8- 1-2-4-6 R9- 1-5-6-11 R10- 1-2-3-6-11

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PARTING SHOT


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