THE ELEVEN COMMANDMENTS FOR THE NEW RACING SEASON

September 8 will soon be upon us and after two months of turgid boredom, the new horse racing season begins.

What will it bring? Who knows.

But below are The Eleven Commandments one must try to adhere to in order to keep the new season on the straight and narrow.

(Source: Hey Sko)

Thou Shalt not undress like this when attending a Happy Wednesday Night at Happy Valley Racecourse. It can spook the horses and all the udder people.

Thou Shalt patiently join the queue and refrain from making snorting and roaring sounds now that Jo Jo McKinnon has got back to where she belongs- the Singles market.

Thou Shalt donate monies so Racing To Whine’s Three Amigos have a new wardrobe from Hugo Boss and a set not borrowed from Toys R Us.

(Source: Aas Myth)

Thou Shalt not Asketh Matthew Chadwick if he took a bus to the track and nickname him “Bus Uncle”.

(Source: Sing Pao)

Thou Shalt not Asketh Alvin “The Chipmunk” Ng where he squirrels his nuts.

(Source: Wiki)

Thou Shalt refrain from giving the finger to jockeys who fail on horses you have backed. Only Zac Purton has the patent to launch a Zac Attack.

(Source: The Thorough Bred)

Thou Shalt not stare at dandy owner Natalis Chan’s multi-colored hair and ask, “Which fucking Muppet are you?”

(Source: Sina)

(Source: Claire Amus)

Thou Shalt not wonder how Colm Donaghue was granted a license to ride in Hong Kong this season or taketh bets as to when he’ll ride his first winner.

(Source: Daily Mail)

Though Shalt not follow Douglas Whyte on any Sean Woods gallopers in the vain hope of winning. It will never happen.

(Source: Ta Kung Pao)

Though Shalt not walk up to Tony Cruz and say, “Putha, man, there’s a cockroach in your ear”.

(Source: HKJC)

Thou Shalt pray like hell that International Day doesn’t start with a performance by some wobbly Canto-pop chanteuse, having international visitors being met by weird looking mascots, caps given out as souvenirs, and the day ending with yet another obligatory fireworks display.

(Source: Dreams Time)

#201314HongKongHorseRacing #happyvalley #zaCPURTON #DouglasWhyte #JoJoMcKinnon #shatin #happywednesday #hkjc #AlvinNg #seanwoods #matthewchadwick