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The new way of looking at horse racing

THE GURU (14/10/12)


Wednesday night at Happy Valley was heading out to be a pretty tame affair as far as the racing was concerned despite close to 19,000 people at the track and The Beer Garden packed to the lederhosen and the sensational Nicole Russo, formerly with the Brand New Heavies and now living and working in Hong Kong, singing at Adrenaline and with film crews all over the place filming gawd-knows-what.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyFfzc6F3Kc

Then it happened- a bit of an argy bargy in the last race between Andreas Suborics and Douglas Whyte and which almost resulted in some bitch slapping from the Durban Demon and “Suby” being whacked with a three day suspension.


I ran into Suby and the Whyte man the next day and all seemed sweet with the two clinking glasses until I seemed to hear the Demon say, “mate, look at the patrol film” and noticed puffs of smoke coming outta his ears. It was time to bolt or call the fire services.


On Sunday at Shatin is Sa Sa Ladies Purse Day and which will mean a bevy of long legged models and one of the few days women can wear hats and men can wear dresses onto the track without looking bloody daft.


I wait with bated breath to see what Jenny “From The Paddock” Chapman will eventually wear on the day- on the top of her head. There’s a long story to that tale.


As for the racing, well, it looks to many as if Packing Whiz has a mortgage in The Ladies Purse. But as the hooker said to the bishop, “Honey, looks an be deceiving.” What’s baffling is Tim Clark being replaced on the ride by Brett Prebble despite him winning on the horse at its last start. Trainer John Moore is a strange man who many doubt can lie straight in bed.


Of course, Moore has his usual army of runners for this Cup race including Dominant, Dan Excel- a crumb tossed to the Hobbit- and no-hoper Same World to be ridden by Howard Cheng. If Packing Whiz is to get any competition, it would probably come from a former Moore charge in Little Dreams now with Andreas Schutz, Darth Ferraris’ Liberator and Dominant which has Olivier Doleuze aboard, no doubt a merci beaucoup for winning on one of Jungle John’s horses last week. All this leaves Champion Jockey Douglas Whyte without a ride in this big Cup race. The politics of racing are worse than the politics of a gay hairdressers convention with hissy fits a daily occurrence.


Away from the Sunday races, Hong Kong will have a piece of Frankel in town when this magnificent horse’s regular pilot- Tony Quealy- takes up a winter license along with Gerard Mosse and young Umberto Rispoli, below making pouting poses, someone who will have a number of girls I know breathing heavily and making grunting noises.


Back at Shatin, there are a couple of horses ridden by “Wayward” Weichong Marwing, who seems to be phobic about riding in Happy Valley, which I like quite a bit- almost as much as “Wayward” loves his Big Macs.


“Wayward” at his McHappiest and Lovin’ It.

Wayward” is a good rider when not riding three and four wide to find the nearest McDonald’s. After his possible paranoia attack at Happy Valley on Wednesday where he became Mr. Freeze, I am expecting him to be in the money in Race 4 with Cosmo One and with Elegant Frames in the next race which is having its second start after a very good debut over 1000 metres. Though the 1200 metres still seems a bit on the short side, “Wayward” might just take it walkies so that it feels like it has run 1800 metres.


Elsewhere, with Zac Purton still suspended and biting his toenails on the sidelines, many will back every donkey Dougie Whyte rides though I’ll wait until Johnny Size gets his new horses into his stables. If I were to back a Whyte-Size horse, it would be The Peak in Race 7 and even though drawn in the boonies, The Earl Of Leitrim- plus, though Vincent Ho rides it, Adoration in Race 8. It’s great to see Vinnie Ho who only graduated to the senior jockey ranks a few weeks ago and doing very well since then by riding winners receiving support from a great horseman like Johnny Size.


Frankly, take Whyte out of the equation and tomorrow looks like being a good day for talented local boys like Derek Leung, possibly Matty Chadwick, Vincent Ho and even new apprentice Dick “Louie” Lui who could prove to be a pest for the senior jockeys in Races 1,2,6 and 10- especially those last two races.


One of them is a Dick.

Away from Hong Kong, good gawd, there was some mighty cheering from the bookies in Oz when Lady Gai Gai had one of her most wretched days with Under The Sun failing to win in Sydney and topweight More Joyous and Pierro, both ridden by a somewhat shaky looking Nash Rawiller, losing at Caulfield and killing off many hardcore punters who took the shorties on those. And good on Tom Waterhouse for staying loyal to his wonderful Mad Hatter of a mother. Gai Waterhouse WILL be back and the $500,000 www.tomwaterhouse.com had to refund is something they’ll get back- and more!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7d7aXpMeAQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnwdpk1DCrs&feature=relmfu

Back to racing, it was a great ride by Corey Brown to win on Solzhenitsyn, pictured below, and beat the very game More Joyous into third place, but he sullied this ride with a shocker on Gatewood in the Group 2 Herbert Power Stakes which was taken out by Alain Royer Dupre’s impressive French import Shahwardi and ridden by Kerrin McEvoy.



Pierro being beaten by the Team Hawkes-trained All Too Hard, Black Caviar’s half-brother, must have been the best news Big Nathan Tinkler has had in a very long time. Suddenly, the pub might have some beer, the mine might have some coal and living in Singapore might give him some breathing space. For how long is the question as the Karma Forces are gathering around him like a murder of crows.




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