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The new way of looking at horse racing

THE GURU AT SHATIN ON SUNDAY AND OTHER ODD BITS.


The Victoria Derby post-mortems continue in Oz with the main talking points being the rides of young James McDonald on Dare To Dream and It’s A Dundeel, how the combination of David Hayes and Michael Walker on 100 to 1 outsider Rawnaq could have very likely won the Derby- it came a heart-breaking third- and brought both trainer and jockey into some much-needed Group One company. The reckless riding of The Gnasher Man put a dent to that dream.



“Nash whoooooooooooooooo?”

Of course, to add to the woes of Oz racing and how it is perceived Down Under and up around everywhere else, the case of The Suitcase And The Tube continues giving Steward Terry Bailey a new headache. Listening to him being interviewed today, he sounded as if he has been mauled by Mike Tyson and Nikoliced in the process.


“Woe is me and Whoah about that suitcase. I need some biscuits. Anyone got any biscuits?”

Meanwhile, Damien Oliver continues to show tremendous physical and mental resilience while Oz has quickly fallen outta je t’adore with Gerard Mosse and now await The Race That Stops A Nation on Tuesday for which I am hoping that either of these horses win as I’m calling on three different doubles: Americain, Dunaden, Mount Athos, below, and Galileo’s Choice.


Of these, the one I would really like to see win is Luca Cumani’s Mount Athos for, sure, the payout, but also to catch a glimpse of that fabulous looking filly that is Francesca Cumani. Seriously now, is there a more stylish and classy looking Group 1 female in racing today? I seriously doubt it.


Hong Kong racing might not have all these dramas and sagas stalking it with the only talking points being The Case Of The Wrong Barriers and “Millie” Millard not afforded the chance to give the mighty Ambitious Dragon a barrier trial in Shatin.Not that it mattered; Millard is an excellent trainer, he has a great team around him led by wife Beverley and he has Hong Kong’s best horse which must be accorded every opportunity to get itself fit and ready and fly the flag for the city on International Day.


Hong Kong racing has everything else- the tracks, the jockeys, the trainers, the venues, the technology, the vision, at times, the marketing creativity and chutzpah plus the turnover, the attendance and racing specialist Sarika Choy, pictured below and who can do the Gangnam dance better than anyone I have seen attempt it.


To complete the picture, it needs a world class equine star- which, from what has been seen to date- is Ambitious Dragon and which can be a marketing and merchandising coup and dream for the HKJC and The Hong Kong Tourism Association. Right now, when it comes to tourism, the city is shooting blanks and paid celebrity endorsements being totally irrelevant and lacking all credibility. But, good gawd, what the Tourism Board could do by working with the HKTA and the team behind Ambitious Dragon especially if it wins on International Day.


Hong Kong today is a city desperate for a hero- even a four legged one to give its people some pride of ownership of something other than dodgy politicians living in million dollar mansions with illegal building structures hiding wine cellars and million dollar private karaoke lounges and mini cinemas.


So, while Fort Larned won an exciting Breeders Cup Classic- somewhat sadly ignored in Hong Kong and all of Australasia- Tommy Sadler was riding the first three winners at Kilmore and a horse named Nat King Cole came third in some race in NZ, racing at Shatin got underway with Class 4 and Class 5 races, respectively, and which are programmed as warm-up acts before the main attractions take centre stage and the totalizator board shakes, rattles and rolls as punters rush around like banshees in heat and salivate for one more race before ending in a heap of heaving body odor and flatulence.


“Kiss me, baby.”

Anyway, enough of that and back to the Breeder’s Cup and where it wasn’t exactly Game On Dude for Game On Dude. It was racing, American-style and with a pretty exciting finish and it’s always quite trippy to listen to American race-callers. It’s all a bit like “Idol” and Ryan Seacrest. And what singer Tony Bennet was doing at the presentation ceremony, I have no idea.



As for Hong Kong, Race 1 was interesting purely to see how much new trainer David Hall had improved Solar Great. Starting as the hot favorite and ridden by Brett Prebble, Hall must be Merlin The Magician as he has transformed this horse into almost a mythical looking beast which won in facile fashion with its head on the chest.


David Hall?

Prior to the running of Race 2, Darren Flindell excited some of us when we heard him mention that someone had taken all their gear off. Sadly, he was only talking about a horse and, as we took in some of the sights walking about and shaking their groove things, Caspar Fownes’ enigmatic Flying Keeper with Little Timmy Clark throwing everything at him, scrambled home at over 35s.


In the same race, Gerard Mosse went walkies on the race favorite Full Value. Guess The Swordsman was more interested in a McValue Meal as he kept his ride three and four wide throughout the race. It was a merde ride on a horse that should have won. But, again, McDonald’s and some pommes des frites beckoned.


Gerard McMosse?

Those who followed Hei Hei Posh in race 5 had Little Timmy Clark to thank for getting the horse home by a nose and beating Brett Prebble on the favorite Surrounded. And The Hobbit had Matthew Chadwick to thank for a truly daft ride aboard Bullish Power which he rode, er, for speed and was a sitting duck. It’s quite amazing that it still finished where it did. However, all credit to The Hobbit who gets the ring for being one of the hardest, toughest riders to get past.


Hei Hei Posh after its run and needing a break?

Prior to all this, Howard Cheng had taken out Race 3 aboard another David Hall runner in Jun Dao whose owner, Mr Kwok Ho, only trusts Chinese jockeys on his horses.

First starters Great Alexander and Tayside disappointed whereas in the next race, Wayward Weichong Marwing also couldn’t control his urges to go wide and hit the Golden Arches up for some McNuggets while Richard Fourie took out the race aboard Sean Woods’ Maelstrom with first starter Turbo Jewellery doing okay to come second. The Racing Club’s Young Talent and favorite had me wondering if it has any- talent- as that was a pretty weak field. I don’t see it, but then again, I’m blind as a bat.


The Hobbit brought up a long priced treble by winning Race 6 and taking out the Po Leung Kok Cup aboard the 27 to 1 shot Eagle Spirit for Andreas Schutz in a race where there were some bizarre riding tactics. It was what I call a WTF race ‘cos of some of the rides, but The Hobbit showed what happens when cool heads prevail: They win. Hot heads lose and look like knobs.


The Hobbit- @clarkyhk- should also tweet on race day. It seems to spur him on as it’s the most he ever says- almost 140 words.


As for the day’s so-called grudge race between Amber Sky and its conqueror the last time they met, well gawd knows what happened to the Sammo Hung-owned runner when it was napped by even a racing writer despite paying $1.10, but Douglas Whyte was never traveling well on the favorite which was not taken to the front as in previous races and was roly as Darth Skies rolled over Shatin.


“Diiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!”

This time with Matthew Chadwick aboard, he just bounced the horse to the front, there was no need to sit pretty and it won eased down.> I didn’t spot Vital Flyer anywhere though second was Jung Gong with third being Charles The Great and martial arts actor and the winner’s owner Sammo Hung having no need to go home tonight and break down any doors. As for Matthew Chadwick, he has got himself a very good regular ride.


Brett Prebble won the next two races- only just from Little Timmy Clark- to win the Jockeys Challenge and with his chance ride on Happy Era for John Size looking like a very good horse in the making. What was amusing albeit in a sad way were the rides of Mosse and Marwing in this race. The latter on Holy Mac, with blinkers on for the first time- the horse, that is, took off like a bat outta hell or a bat out to get to McDonald’s fast- and with our fave Monsieur going three and four wide on New Deerfield. Surely, one of these days, Monsieur Mosse will ride a decent race and actually win one?


Weichong McMarwing.

As predicted in the last post, The Zac Attack was momentarily dulled and with Douglas Whyte riding a horse for Sean Woods, well, , yes, I got the willies in my chilies and the curse struck again. The Durban Turban came outta the meeting winless and friendless when three of what could have perhaps been his regular rides- Amber Sky, Happy Era and Hot Shot in the last providing apprentice Dickie “Louie” Lui with his second winner in consecutive race meetings- all saluted.


“Damnit, the Guru could be right. He scares me, mama.”

His one ride for “Bob The Builder”- Autumn Gold? It came second and could just augur well for the future while the bubble burst for race favorite Bubble Chic- the David Hall-Brett Prebble McValue combo.


“Wanna go to McDonald’s? Grab a McValue Meal?”

And so we wait for Tuesday and the Melbourne Cup and then it’s back to Happy Valley and another Happy Wednesday and more filming with Sarika Choy. Life can be tough and dull as hell.


In the meantime, follow this advice from The Guru: You are what you eat so be careful where you put your mouth and never put your foot in your mouth.


Peace, Love and Tantric Yoga.


The Guru

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