Of course, everyone in Oz is still rabbiting on and twittering about the Caulfield Cup and which saw a brilliant win by Dunaden and a brilliant ride by Craig Williams. Though not exactly a charter member of Williams and his sucky sucky post-race sucking up, it really was a brilliant last to first ride and which I would give a 100 outta ten. Not so Gerard Mosse who finished fourth on Americain and which he had three wide all the way. The Swordsman must had other things on his mind like munching on some pommes des frites.
But despite the flops of December Draw, Glencadam Gold, one of the biggest false favourites I have seen in a major race, and Zabilionaire, nothing can take away from the win of Dunaden and the ride of Craig Williams. Let’s also never forget the brave effort of old-timer Alcopop with Dom Tourneur aboard which finished second.
What I couldn’t figure out is what happened or where the touted simultaneous broadcast of this race and which I thought were three or four other races from Caulfield were being hidden. Like many, I switched to that second-rate channel known as ATV which no one watches and only saw hours of some wannabe “dude” interviewing other wannabe “dudes” on a gawdawful show- but no Caulfield Cup simulcast which was meant to have a special expert guest in Little Timmy Clark. The Hobbit is tiny, I know, but where was he? Hiding under JoJo? He did attend the filming, I hear. The question is if any of it was actually broadcast. ATV is not exactly manned by he brightest light bulbs in the building.
Perhaps I blinked, perhaps I was suffering from hours of playing pool at the new Club in LKF Tower called RAK and mixing with some very drunk as skunks females- not classy even if one were to win the conquest- but I didn’t even get one eyeful of former Sky presenter JoJo McKinnon sitting with the usual gnomes around a Malice In Wonderland Mad Hatters Tea Party table and bringing a small part of Oz to viewers in Hong Kong starved for some culture. Such a pity.
JoJo and my mate Pete.
JoJo and gnomes in Hong Kong
Getting back to Hong Kong, as expected, Wednesday night was a very dull all-dirt meeting at Shatin and which some thought was being held at Happy Valley and so trotted up to have another bite of the Happy Wednesday Oktoberfest and ended up looking like right wieners. Hey, how were we to know that there was no Happy Wednesday taking place? Who informed us? Pigeons? Are we meant to be mind readers?
The HKJC does some brilliant things, but, at times, forget that god and the devil are in the details and that consumer loyalty is not something to trifle with. No one wishes to look like a knob or a big wiener and once that happens they simply move on somewhere else.
Still, the bigger wieners that night were at Shatin and where even trainers were shocked at their own results and jockeys couldn’t understand why their horses had flopped.
All we know is that every favorite got rolled and which means a big Six Up bonus on Wednesday when Happy Wednesday happens and with the Oktoberfest wieners hanging out again- if they show up or think there is nothing happen and stay at home playing with their wieners.
As for the Sunday meeting at Happy Valley and NOT Shatin- still with me?- well many will be wondering if Dougie Whyte is going through an uncharacteristic slump or whether it’s only the calm before the storm. I still say it’s the latter which i know many think is just me being curried away with my man crush on the Durban Turban.
Whyte aside, we are seeing a very much improved Matthew Chadwick who is showing he doesn’t have to lead to win. His time spent riding in the UK has done him wonders and the kid is riding with great confidence as is Vincent CY Ho who won on Green Zone which raced as Sparkle in Oz and was sold to Manu Melwani aka Sam The Tailor at a bargain basement price.
Brett Davies models for Sam The Tailor
We understand that Manu/Sam had promised the three Racing To Win Thunderbird puppets that if Green Zone won, he would replace their pink and white candy striped barber shop quartet shirts which he designed. Say it’s so,my man.
The RTW Team and Guest break into song.
Lets hope so though replacing the entire show might be a better idea after I was recently shown its audience share. Let’s just say that an Eskimo art film on the mating habits of gay seals would attract a bigger audience.
The “turnover” and “attendance” is a paucity of crumbs and this racing show needs someone to take a new broom, sing Una Paloma Blanca and ring out the old and ring in the new as RTW does nothing for anyone except take fucking long for the show to end.
The hosts are fine. The format is not and hasn’t changed since the days of Parkie and Wadey and the incorrigible and prickly Tung Biu. Plus they didn’t dress like clowns and the production values- believe it or not- were better while still being produced on a shoe-string budget. Anyway, the technique or the production is never the idea and RTW has zero ideas. It’s a tired formula being bludgeoned every time it appears on television screens. And IF production is important, with all the inexpensive camera equipment available today, why RTW looks more like a kindergarten pantomime is beyond comprehension.
THE SPARE-NO-EXPENSES RACING TO WIN CHRISTMAS SHOW
Doesn’t anyone give a damn? Or is everyone a Rhett Butler and just happy being a big buck?
As for the racing and remembering that we are racing at Happy Valley on Sunday, the first two races are over 1000 meters and which means the inside barriers are a huge advantage unlike Shatin where outside barriers are the quicker way home.
In race 1, Jacky Tong on Dashing Ace and Richard Fourie on Fairy Dragon- how could a dragon be a fairy?- whereas in race 2, Golden Bauhinia will place again though I cannot see it winning. Frankly, my papadums, I don’t really give a damn about either race.
Good gawd, for a moment there and when entries first came out, I thought Paul O’Sullivan has entered Glory Of India for Race 3- the third time since being transferred to his stable and with now Douglas Whyte aboard. Makes no difference to me. The only jockey to get along with the horse was Jeff “Steptoe” Lloyd and unless the swarm of owners fly him in to ride the horse, I just cannot see it winning ever again. Mercifully, the horse was withdrawn and must told Paul, “Goodness gracious me, man, you’re busting my birdie num nums. Get those curry puffs to retire me and send me to Bollywood and the Valley Of The Dhals!”
Another, oh gawd no, as Sean Bob The Builder Woods has entered Saddler’s Lodge in the next race and with this time, poor Vincent CY Ho to do the navigating.
At least, Douglas Whyte has not returned to fail on it again though whenever this horse runs I get creeped out and have a real funk of a day.
Though a tough race as are most legs of the triple trio, I’ll go for Kingston Elite which drops a class and which looks like a ride Whyte has gone chasing after.
Another gawd no is in race 5 where John Size brings the devilishly expensive Holyangelholy to Happy Valley for the first time. Someone get an exorcist and keep this thing away!
Give me Genuine Leader, Marco Polo and even Natural Flame over this one.
Jeez, with Saddler’s Lodge and Holyangelholy running at the same meeting, this all looks devilishly cursed!
Hell, no! There’s more! One of those two horses which were put into wrong barriers- Simple- runs in race 9 and with Whyte taking over from the Chipmunk though I cannot see it beating Diamond Elegance with Little Timmy Clark aboard.
The Hobbit is on fire like a chicken vindaloo and hardly a meeting goes by without him landing a winner. He’s a spicy hobbit. But only wife Jade will know that for sure.
In race 10, Dougie Whyte gets on John Moore’s Time After Time, usually a ride for the suspended Brett Prebble.
This is far better than Dougie Whyte getting ON John Moore.
With The Durban Turban’s and Brett Prebble, former fierce competitors who have kissed, wrapped tongues and made up, it’s now all about what’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine and Cher and Cher alike. They really are the Sonny and Cher of Hong Kong.
DOUGIE AND NEW MATE “BREET”
Bottom line: The races at Happy Valley tomorrow is not exactly a re-running of the Caulfield Cup or watching Frankel, but there are winners to be found, and before that, another episode of Racing To Win and wondering if the boys will be wearing their new shirts.
Life is as exciting as a brinjal at half mast.
The Guru
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