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THE GURU ON TONIGHT’S HAPPY VALLEY MEETING


Many are salivating thinking of the upcoming clash in the Longines Hong Kong Mile between Glorious Days, Packing Whiz and Ambitious Dragon -and which means a duel to the wire between Dougie Whyte, The lethal Zac Attack and Barney Bam Bam Prebble.


Of course, the Hobbit can come down on some second stringer as he did with Destined For Glory some time ago and screw this fairytale race completely, but let’s hope not.

If all three horses are on their A Game, it will be one helluva race and one the HKJC should be promoting the shit out of and even turning it-and the other International races- into a special treble and tierce bet. Why not? It’s time to be flexible and not be suffering from creative rigor mortis.


Apart from still raving about the training efforts of Caspar Fownes, Tony Cruz and John Size and the rides by Dougie Whyte and Matty Chadwick, one more thing before wearily moving on to Wednesday night’s meeting after the highs of Sunday’s races, is just what a damn good and knowledgeable horse woman Jenny Chapman is. Her observations about Glorious Days were spot on plus, what I like about her- as do many others- is her no bullshit, pleasant demeanor and how, as a racing pundit nehru, she runs rings around all the others doing similar gigs.


“That Tony Millard has VERY strong legs and always presents himself so well in the yard.”

In many ways, she is somewhat wasted running around the paddock area and here’s hoping that one day she rugby tackles the person who does the Chinese mounting yard report and runs around like Groucho Marx on speed.


My bouquet to Jenny Chapman remind me of this piece on Francesca Cumani and Channel Seven. It’s a good piece by Paul Sheehan with my only brickbat being the writer making it gender specific. A knowledgeable person about anything is a knowledgeable person- and Francesca is a knowledgeable racing person also blessed with incredible pedigree and good looks. But this should never overshadow her knowledge of racing and horses and rides.


As for Wednesday, i reckon the Caspar Fownes stable will have a big night. It might even mean him doing a Casibah Dance. Hope so as he might go Gangnam at the Valley and kinda make trainers hip again. Paul O’Sullivan and Sean Woods have long tall sullied the rep of trainers being reasonably cool with their very weird appearance in that Oy Vey promo spot for the program that is Racing To Win starring The Three Amigos who have sadly been plonked onto a Toys R Us Eighties setting bought from eBay and interrupted by a very surreal mix music tracks. A great show to watch after inhaling: “Hey, Dave, is that you, man?”


Speaking of which, I think Sam The Tailor, the fashion guru for the show , owes my mate Neil Paine and me a few kaftans for almost GIVING him Green Zone which raced as Sparkle in NSW for a pittance. That very cheap purchase has been racing extremely consistently for Cas who looks to have good chances on Wednesday with Mighty K, Grand Elite and The Name Is Bond in races 6,7 and 8, respectively. Hell, he could even train the treble.


A chuffed Cas showing us the size of his knob.

Elsewhere, I notice that Dougie Whyte has jumped aboard Nordic Star. He has a knack of getting on this horse when it is back to his right mark and trained for the 1650 metre race it tackles in Race 3 tomorrow. I can’t see it winning by beating Real General and Yuan’s Fortune but it can run into the tierce. Where the Durban Turban has winning chances are with the well-rated Kingston Elite in Race 2 with the other chances in this race being Good Looking Watch, M’s Magic, Polygold and maybe David “Darth Vader” Ferraris’ Dark Secret with the Zac Attack up.


As for Race 1, I have no idea. I’ll be up at Adrenaline with my old EMI Music mates. Apart from Fastalot and Fairy Dragon, it’s all a blank to me and one to watch, see if there is any track bias before tackling the Six Up and scare people away by bursting into the chorus of Without You for no real sane reason.


Getting back to Dougie Whyte who is looking ominous now about snagging a thirteenth Hong Kong Jockeys Challenge though I don’t see him winning the Jockeys Challenge tonight, he has a big chance with the horse named Oyster in Race 4 and Classic Jewellery in Race 7 whereas in other races on a night where a rain-soaked Happy Wednesday is predicted, The Hobbit aka Little Timmy Clarke, below about to twitter again, leaves his random tweets behind to ride the aptly named Forgive And Forget in Race 6 and which should make amends for some of the crappy rides it has been given by other jockeys.


The horses to beat in this race look like being Zachary with Zachary Purton aboard, Jun Ju and Mighty K with Tye Angland aboard whereas the bookings of Brett Prebble and Matty Chadwick give me a headache- Chadwick riding for Millard and Prebble pinch hitting for Cruz when he could have ridden Mighty K. Get all that? Hope so as this race is the final leg of the Triple Trio and where there is jackpot carryover. Jackpot carryovers are also in the Six Up and the first Double Trio of the night.

Which race could make Six Up and TT bets come apart, Race 4 worries me as apart from some Oyster, there is Bless Em All, El Grande, Benefactor and Nobody But You which I think has been waiting to fall down in the ratings before being given the green light. More bloody headaches.


This is what I hate: Horses going around, tackling wrong distances when unfit just to get down to the right mark. It’s like some track work and should not be tolerated on what is termed a RACE DAY.


Meanwhile, I wait to see Neil Callan and Umberto Rispoli ride their first winners in Hong Kong. Callan is not in the top league of riders in the UK and is a jock I seldom followed when there and so why start now? Darryll Holland, below, in Hong Kong would, to me, be a far better choice to be a licensed jockey out here again- unless he has burnt some important bridges that cannot be repaired.


As for Rispoli, I feel he is an overrated jockey who has only been successful in Italy and is not in the same league as whiz kid Oompa Loompas like Guyon and Barzalona.

How will Tom Quealy fare in Hong Kong? Let me ask you this: Who had heard of Tom Quealy before Frankel arrived on the scene?


I seriously cannot remember a British jockey doing well in Hong Kong since those days of yore when Philip Robinson was riding here permanently along with Holland. Of course, there was Kieran Fallon and Michael Kinane, but they were in a different class altogether and incredible operators in very different ways .



Jaimie Spencer, Wally Swinburn, Seb Sanders, Jimmy Quinn and a few others I have forgotten, have never measured up.

And measure me up for some kaftans, please, Sam The Tailor along with some Aladdin-like pantaloons which will give my Bobby Brinjal the breathing space it needs.



The Guru

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