1) Don’t come to the races at Happy Valley and get stuck in some media box with all those you try to get away from back home.
Take in The Beer Garden, Adrenaline and The Gallerie. The vibe and people at Adrenaline are great and The Beer Garden is a real winner.
If there is a private party at Adrenaline, beg to get in. It will be something special. And have a Zac Attack shooter with Racing Specialist Sarika Choy, below.
2) Make it down to the Blue Bar at the Four Seasons hotel.
The five-star bar serves a lethal sangria, the best martinis and from 6pm to around 8pm, a free snack buffet which can really become a filling dinner.
Excellent service, okay background ‘live’ music though the current resident singer is not for me and a popular meeting place for the racing crowd.
It wouldn’t, for example, be unusual to see Dougie Whyte sitting at a corner looking at the wine list for something new and the Guru sitting with him and looking to see if there’s anyone new sitting at the bar other than the strange Lithuanian lady and her Eastern European cohorts.
3) Check out the band at Spicy Fingers in Jaffe Road when guitarist Dan is playing. This guy is world class. Truly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gm9wjfmWzFQ
After checking him out, check out Dusk Till Dawn next door. There’s always something for everybody there. If nothing there for you, see Tip 10.
“Hello, big boys! A quinella or an exacta.”
4) Walk up to my good mate Bill Nader, Director of Racing, and Winfried Engelbrecht-Bresges, CEO of the HKJC, and ask if they are “nearly fine.”
Mr Bill not looking nearly fine…and kinda Toulouse Lautrec- short. Is he standing on his knees?
5) Win the treble and go down to Lower Elgin Street and choose from three bars and restaurants right next to each others.
There is Guru, possibly named after me and serving Indian and now, Nepalese cuisine. A favorite dining venue for Jenny Chapman, David Price, Dougie Whyte, Zac Purton, Caspar Fownes etc and serving dishes that won’t make you feel so bloated you’ll have to be rolled down the road.
“Bloody hell, what was in that belch? An entire fish curry?”
Next to Guru is Egyptian bar and restaurant Sahara which attracts a wide variety of females and beside this venue being the quaintly named tapas bar called WTF and with a good crowd on Fridays and Saturdays and with a spicy chicken dish on the new tapas menu to die for.Well, not literally really “die for”, but with no need to go to Barcelona for good Spanish food. Forget the pretentious bullshit of “celebrity chefs.”As long as the food is fresh and tasty, who cares who cooked it? Good food is good food.
WTF! Where are the people???
6) Stay away from smiling strangers bearing false gifts like shares in mines located in Fiji, Indonesia etc. One jockey has already been taken for a ride by one of these pubs with no beer. In twitter terms, #bollocks
7) Forget about a shopping expedition at shops in The Landmark or Pacific Place unless if you have money to burn- and who does these days?
Have someone who speaks the local lingo take you down to Mongkok and get anything you want for one eighth the price of what you’ll pay at those shops in Central that have to pay crippling rents.
8) Don’t listen to all those tips from every second person you meet. They’ll do your head in more than any drinking binge.
9) I just went blank.
10) Sure, sure, if the urges overcome you, go walkies at the cattle market that is Escape, formerly, but watch out for overly friendly Nigerians if they sit down too close to your wallet.Also, don’t turn your back on the drinks on your table- at the bar and back at the hotel.
Escape and how pictures really lie.
For ladies, hang out with me.The Guru and his mates and harem will show you a mighty fine time and I shall leave you with this: The Love You Make Is Equal To The Papadums You Can Eat.
The Guru
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