We were forwarded this rave blog by Old School American Blogger Bob Lefsetz and just shook our heads.
Just how outta the times is Uncle Bob?
It reminded us of one of those old Chevy Chase “National Lampoon” movies.
Here, Uncle Bob Goes Clubbing and loses himself- and his mind.
Uncle Bob writes like a drooling dirty old man: “We couldn’t stop looking at the girls. If you’re a dirty old man, go to an electronic music festival. Throw out the porn, this is the real thing. Young, nubile females on parade, wearing barely anything. So skinny, you think they hardly eat.”
Huh? What electronic music festival??????
And Uncle Bob likes “so skinny, you think they hardly eat?” Sad.
Has he ever met Michel Adam and never watched Fashion TV?
If he had, he’d implode.
Has he been to dragon-i in Hong Kong?
Or M1NT in Shanghai?
Of course not.
Uncle Bob raves on like Obama without a teleprompter: “And it’s a rainbow coalition. Every ethnicity. From African-American to Korean to Latino to white. If you’re a racist, electronic music is not for you. Their parents might be racist, but the children are not. They’ve seen the different colors on television, they’ve seen the spawn of intermarriage, they’re all in it together.”
Huh? Whaaaaaah? What the hell is this “electronic” music?
David Guetta? Casey Connor?
Any of those unknown “Superstar” Club DJs who get paid obscene sums of money for playing other people’s music and putting “a beat” over it?
Uncle Bob then shifts to Sixties Speak: “Speaking of a revolution… Ticket prices go up as the concert nears. Buy early and they’re $60, buy late and they’re $75. This is everything the big time concert business wants to institute, but can’t. Something about the acts, the agents, you’ve got to do it the old way, the way it’s always been done. And the ticketing company can send reports to your mobile device. You can get counts in real time. You can change the price on the fly. This ain’t Ticketmaster.
“And you don’t need ticketmaster.com to get the word out. One e-mail and the audience is reached. HARD’s got an e-mail list in the multiple hundreds of thousands. They only took one ad, in the L.A. “Weekly”, and only because Skrillex was on the cover. Meanwhile, the paper failed to mention his appearance at HARD! That’s old media, they just don’t get it. Whereas the target audience visits the Facebook page, social networking takes the idea and spreads it. Because if people want to know, they find out.
“I’m still recovering. This was so different from the rock show. I saw no fat cat promoter uninterested in music ripping off the public. Instead I encountered passionate people putting on an event, looking forward to more, HARD’s got a cruise coming up. Three days in the Bahamas. Sold out.”
Uncle Bob takes a breather, inhales some helium and returns with this: “Yes, there’s room for a few more destination electronic music events. Maybe they’re best there, where the crowd can be controlled. HARD was everything the music business used to be. While oldsters are clinging to old models, bitching that they just can’t get paid, that they just can’t make the money they used to, the electronic music scene is rising from the ashes. Built upon the new paradigm. It’s not about making money on recordings, they’re traded freely. It’s about the show. Which is different every night. It’s about being there. It’s the way it used to be. It’s thrilling.”
Fuck me, Uncle Bob, Uncle Bob, where have you been? Man? Duuuude? Skiing in Aspen?
Making speeches somewhere? Grabbling freebies everywhere?
Owing people “stories” like this ‘cos of some freebie trip and writing crap like this?
We received this response to all the fluff above from a truly International music guy we respect and who knows his shit:
“What a load of bollocks. It’s still totally about ripping off kids-at $75 or £70 at Pacha for a DJ and £15 for a drink- far worse than he’s talking about when the majors and rock were important.
“Fat cat promoters made far more money because there are no costs involved to bring in DJs …who doesn’t record the music or write the songs or market them in the first place?
What is the ‘electronic music’ he’s talking about???? He’s referring mostly to DJs that exploit it and make shitloads of money playing other artists’ music. Its parasitic and amazing that Lefsetz doesn’t get that.
“He’s so American-just like how he doesn’t get it that all the kids in the world outside America use bbm’s and not iphone’s which he obsesses about…
“He’s a very Old man.
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