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The new way of looking at horse racing

WHY YOU SHOULD BE A HORSE OWNER

Recently, we’ve been asked by many about horses- the four-legged ones- and why one should own one, either by themselves or, more likely, with a syndicate.


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A syndicate has nothing to do with Mario Puzo or the mafia, but, instead, a syndicate of owners who are Members of the HKJC and made up of friends, members of a club, members of the Mormon Tabernacle or Vienna Boys Club, the Richard Li and PCCW Fan Club etc.


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Well, we’ve thought long and hard, and knowing some of the younger members of the HKJC who have spent gazillions of their parents and their own money opening up restaurants and clubs bereft of customers, or purchasing a Lamborghini only to have it stuck in traffic on some flyover and investing in other daft ideas to be part of that Hong Kong ritual known as having “face”, we believe the following might make you understand why owning a racehorse makes far more sense.

Plus, being a horse owner and having a horse that can beat those owned by local celebrities Sammo Hung, Aaron Kwok, Eric Tsang and that weirdo Nat Chan is always damn good fun.


APPLE DAILY PHOTO

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* It’s also far more cost-effective-and fun- to owning a horse than spending months thinking of what to name it- and then spending millions of dollars to open a restaurant/club or bar in Sheung Wan, LKF, Soho or Wyndham Street, having a HUGE grand opening where people you haven’t ever laid eyes on turn up -and never to return again leaving you to worry every day about overheads, lack of customers and realizing that an upmarket Italian restaurant called Chan’s Kitchen was not such a great idea.


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*Owning a horse means, if a man, being able to speak to women about “firm legs”, a “strong behind” and “snorting” without sounding like a chauvinistic pig.


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*If a female, or a group of females, owning a horse, feel free to talk opening about a “strong behind” and “needing firm handling” without sounding like a feminist and Female Eunuch.


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*Owning a horse means not needing to worry about parking space and with traffic jams only happening during a race.


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* If out on a date, imagine the huge pride in saying, Wanna come over and see my horse- even if only photographs of your four-legged friend?


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Of course, if a man and your date is intrigued about your unique come-on line, well, lucky you.


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* You can name your horse after your boyfriend/girlfriend, ex-wife, boss, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend etc- or, yourself.

All other ideas as to why you should own a horse are most welcome.

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